My Thoughts and Feelings

Wednesday afternoon I had to take a half day and go to my pre-op appointment. Sitting in the waiting room was the hardest part. I guess now I knew it was real and I had to confirm I was ok with the procedure. The pre-op itself went fast, beside the pre-op nurses couldn't get blood from me even with 4 pokes. Eventually, they took me to the lab. Thank goodness she got it right away! After my appointment I thought I deserved a little pick me up, so I got myself a Diet Vanilla Coke.

 By Friday, I was ready for the procedure. I was ready to feel normal again. I felt pregnant even though I knew I wasn't really. We dropped Jackson off at my Aunt's house at 6 o'clock Friday morning and then headed to the hospital. I wasn't nervous. I knew the Lord was with me, and he gave me a peace only he could give. I read my key verses that have gotten me through this last week. The nurse had to stab me twice for my IV. The place where she stabbed me first caused more pain than the procedure itself. Dr. Castillo came in, hugged me, and told me what to expect. Brian kissed me and back I went, praying Deuteronomy 31:8 the whole way.

Once in the operating room, I only remember being moved from the bed to the table. Next thing I know is waking up in the recovery room at 8:45 am. Dr. Castillo found Brian after only 15 minutes, he told us it would at least take 30 minutes. He said everything went very well. I finally got to see Brian about 9:30, and we left the hospital about 10:30. I was expecting to feel terrible with lots of cramping, but I didn't. I was also worried about bleeding, but not an issue either. I felt pretty good besides being really tired.

The rest of Friday was spent in the recliner watching movies, dozing in and out, and being taken care of by Brian and Jackson. After dinner, I went upstairs to take a nap and Brian and Jackson went to the park. Jackson came and woke me up with a present. Brian said it was all Jackson's idea to get me a surprise. He picked out both gift cards (I-tumes and Starbucks) by himself and of course the Mickey card. My heart melted. What a sweet boy I have! My parents and Brian's parents sent the beautiful flowers. I have also received numerous messages and texts of love and prayers. Thank you everyone!

Overall on Saturday I felt pretty good. I had a terrible headache on and off all day. My body also felt like it did after I had Jackson. I wanted to nap, and I was craving chocolate! Which I guess is kind of normal, because the nurse told me my body thinks it just went through labor. I was able to get out of the house for a little bit and that made me feel even better!

Right now, I am the only one home. Brain and Jackson went to church and I am supposed to be doing my school work. Instead I am blogging and listening to Hillsong. Every time I look at or hear Jackson's sweet voice I realize just how blessed I am and just how precious life is. I will never know my 2nd child on this Earth, but I do know their life has already taught me a lot about love and faith. I imagine April 28th will be a hard day for me, but I know without a doubt that the Lord has amazing things in store for our family.

"The Lord is my strength and song." Exodus 15:2

August 19, 2011

I had my pre-op appointment and it doesn't seem quite right that I have to pay to have this unwanted procedure. HA!

I wrote the rest of this post when we found out we were pregnant. I am going to post it so when I print my blog book I will have it.

August 19, 2011

I took a pregnancy test on Wednesday (5 days early). After 5 minutes it only had one line, so I thought it was another negative test. Before the test I submitted all to God and knew no matter what he was in control. When I got up about 30 minutes later to work out, I saw a faint second line. I had a glimmer of hope because this didn't happen the last 2 months.

I waited 2 days and took another test this morning. Within 3 minutes there were 2 lines! I couldn't believe it. I was excited and all of sudden nervous. Just to make sure, I took a digital test after school today.
After 3 months of praying and trying, today was the day I had been waiting for. We started trying when we did (which was earlier than I wanted) because God was telling me it was time to submit to Him and let Him determine when we would have another child. I thought this meant it would happen the 1st time again, like it did with Jackson. I guess not. I learned a lot about myself and God's faithfulness these last couple of months. God's time is perfect!

We couldn't be more excited! I am looking forward to our first appointment with Dr. C. We did tell Jackson not sure how much he understands. He keeps asking where his "sister or brother" is.